Bored! and very tired

OK I need to find a job. I am so bored. I am having a huge problem with being dehydrated and I am starting to have the side effects with not drinking enough water or propel. I am drinking more but it is hard to drink enough liquid. Also MIL made cookies this weekend and of course I eat some, too many. My pouch is still upset from last weeks dumping episode and now I add cookies to it. Ya it is very hard at times to not be able to eat much. I feel pretty sick but not much I can do about it. I have to go get Katie soon and want to rest but don't want to mess up my hair, yes I am that vain. I am having a lot of head hunger.

So thanksgiving is in 2 days and this is the first thanksgiving since my surgery. It will not be to hard because my pouch is so upset but I wish we were just going out to dinner instead of having to be here all day with mil. DH will probably get upset for some stupid reason and if he does I am going to get mad at him. He ruined my birthday and Christmas with getting upset so this is the last chance. I am tired of living with the in laws, yes they are really helping us in so many good ways but fuck mil gets on my nerves at time. She puts to much focus on what I can and can't eat, just make what you want for dinner quit asking me what I can eat and if the dinner upset my stomach, Yes it did upset my stomach EVERYTHING DOES. Jeez shut up.

My mom visits next week and I am really looking forward to her being her. So is Katie. Katie calls my mom her"honey" so all Katie has been talking about lately is her honey.

have a good day

9 months

Wow 9 months ago today I had weight loss surgery. I have lost 134 since then, 210 total. I am glad I had the surgery. It has been a ruff ride but I would have the surgery again. I don't have any of the pains I had before the surgery. But I do have constant pouch pain and gas pain. Plus right now I am dealing with major depression. But I am not a big fat blob (what I used to call myself)anymore and I can buy my clothes at lots of different stores. I got a manicure today at a salon in Bridgewater mall. I went there on monday and got a good haircut, yes i also got my hair cut on monday last week. That hair cut sucked so I had to get my hair fixed and it looks much better. I am very lonely during the day when katie is in school. I need a job but can't find one. I made an appointment with a dr to get a flu shot next week. It is very cold here today and may snow tomorrow. I will probably stay home all day with Katie tomorrow.
have a good day

Monday

I weighed in at 210 today, this is great 40lbs to my goal. I had a job interview today at Macys, it was for a seasonal job. But it won't work for me because I would of had to work sat/sun and I can't do that. I am frustrated in trying to find a job but will keep on looking. I got my hair cut today at a place in the mall and my hair looks good. I am going to get a manicure there soon. I also started getting christmas gifts. Katie had a good time in preschool today and she sang the abc song to me in the car today. She is so smart. I had a good day today .

Still here

I am still here but don't feel like I have anything to say. I am very unhappy and really don't have anyone to talk to about it. DH doesn't seem to understand and he is to busy with work anyway. It is very upsetting how annoyed with Katie he gets. I don't like it and it ruins alot of the days we have together. He doesn't understand that she is a little child and that is how childern act. We had a good day on my birthday and then he ruins it in the evening.
This is what is going on now. Things will hopefully get better I hope.

Thursday

Well I have been feeling pretty depressed lately. I am disappointed that I can't find a job and I am lonely. I am home all day with DD and it has been hard for me. I don't have any friends here and of course can not call DH when he is at his new job. I has been very hard for me. I am so tired all the time. I am struggling with getting to my goal weight. But because I am home all day I am snacking. But today I am doing good with not snacking. I just feel like everything sucks. I have tryed to tell DH but he doesn't understand how depressed I am. It is hard not having anyone to talk to. DD starts school on Monday so I hope to be able to take some naps. But I have to find a job and I don't know where to look. I have looked at all the usual places but no jobs. I just feel like life sucks right now.

DH birthday is on Saturday. I feel bad that I don't have a big super duper gift for him. We just don't have the money for things. My birthday is on Sunday and I am sure it will suck. Since wls I can't have cake or my favorite ice cream cake anymore, and we don't have money for gifts so I really don't think I am going to have a good birthday. I am just so tired I will like to get into bed and sleep for days. Oh well

Have a good day
Shauna