Update

I have been so busy the last week. School has been super busy. I had a muscle project due today and I got that done. My school went to the Bodies exhibit on NYC last wednesday. My DH was able to go with me, it was a very interesting exhibit. I recommend it to anyone Only 9 people from my class went, more should of gone it was great for someone going into the medical field. There was real bodies and organs. Very interesting. We walked by Ground Zero, on the way to and from the subway. I had not been there before and it was amazingly sad. I am so happy that Andy went with me.
I have a final on wednesday so lots of studying. I never get enough time to study. It is very annoying. Yesterday was Andys 33rd birthday and today is My birthday. Andy got me a new Coach purse for my birthday. I love it. I can use it everyday. It is big enough. Now I have 2 Coach purses. I am not real happy about my birthday. It has not been that great of a day. But it is almost over with.
Happy Birthday to ME!

Nov 1st

Happy All Saints Day.
We had a good Halloween. Katie had fun dressing up as a witch and going trick or treating. I remembered to change the clocks last night and we all slept in till 8:30am. Yah! This was a very busy week. I had a mid-term on thursday, I got an 80, not great but ok. There was lots of drama in my class on thursday. Hopefully everything is better this week. I wasn't involved with the drama but it was still upsetting. Actually this week sucked for me. I have gained some weight and I feel very fat. I am trying to get pregnant but got my monthly friend today so I am upset about that. I am having a hard time with school and Katie is having a hard time with me being gone so much. Plus I am eating bad so I am having extreme stomach/pouch pain and I am very sick most of the day. My husband works long hours so I don't have anyone to talk to. I really want to be pregnant and I want to go good in school. I am just having a hard time right now. My birthday is a week from monday Nov 9th and that is hard for me too. Things are just overwhelming for me right now and I have a lot to do. Well I have to study now
Have a nice day.

School

I am taking anatomy class at school and it is very frustrating. I just don't understand it to well. It seems the whole class is having a hard time but I am just overwhelmed. I want to do good in this class but I am not so sure right now. I didn't take this kind of class in high school. I am going to just do the best I can and hope to pass the class.
I have been nauseous for the last 3 days. I am hoping that I am pregnant but it is to soon to test. We want to have another child as soon as possible, but with wls it will be a high-risk pregnancy. I would be so happy to be pregnant. Ok I have to study
Have a good day

Project and Final Exam at school

Last week was the last week of my first class at school. It was so busy. I had a project due on
Erectile Dysfunction and a final exam. I did good on the project and everyone seemed to like my presentation. Sort of a sensitive subject to talk about but it didn't bother me. I was so worried about my Final. I was very sick last week with nerves. But I did good, I got an 98 on the final and a 97 in the class. I am so happy. I worked hard and glad to get a good grade. On friday I was off for the weekend and it felt like summer vacation, except for the rain, because I had finished one class.
Have a good day

Wedding

I realized I didn't write about the wedding I went to last week. It was a wonderful wedding. The bride looked beautiful and the groom, Joe, look SO happy. They didn't have a traditional ceremony and it was so loving. DH had a good time. I met him there after work. We had not been out together just us in a while so it was nice to just be a couple. He had lots of fun seeing all his old friends. Most of them live around here but everyone is just busy. The reception was lots of fun. The DJ was great, lots of good music. He even played a new Black-eyed peas song I like right now. Don't worry I still love country music. My dress worked out great. It was very pretty and fit well. It was the same color as the mother of the brides dress. DH pointed that out. The other dress I had in mind would of been to dressy. So I was dressed perfect.I eat a little to much but there was some bread there that was the best bread ever. I could just eat that bread for the rest of my life and be ok. LOL I tryed to be really careful about what I ate. My stomach has been giving me lots of problems lately. More then normal. But I didn't vomit so that was good.
It was a wonderful night. I had such a good time. Congratulations to the new couple and I hope they have a wonderful life together.
Have a good day.

Friday

Its Friday! I love the weekends now that I am at school all week. Today Katie is home from school and we are just going to relax. Later I have to get ready for going out tonight. DH is going to met me at the wedding since it is close to his work. I would rather he pick me up but it is OK. I am happy with the dress that I am going to wear. DH is going to look nice in his suit. I am hoping I have a good time. It will be nice to not have to think about homework and other things going on right now.

So in a previous post I mentioned that DH went to a bachelors party, well he didn't come home up the next morning at like 11am. I was very mad. He didn't call or anything. I am over it now but boy was I pissed off.

Doing good in School

I had a mid-term yesterday (Monday) and I got a 90. YA!!!!! I am doing great at school. I love it everyday. I have lots of work, plus all of my regular wife and mother stuff so I am super busy. But I am so happy to be going to school. I am learning alot. I had to go shopping yesterday for a dress to wear to a wedding on Friday. I tryed on this very pretty and looked great on me dress but it was $150. Way to expensive for me. It was nice, it had a open back that focused on my tattoo. Normally I don't show my tattoo but it looked great with this dress. By the way my tattoo is my husbands name and he has my name on his shoulder. This is the only tattoo I have. But I love it. Ok back to the dress, so I didn't get that dress but then I went to Target and found a pretty wine colored dress there for $40. I like it so hopefully it works out. It is nice and a cute style. It will be fun to go to a wedding. I haven't been to one in a few years. Plus it will be nice to go out with just my husband. I am a size 14 at Target and before WLS I was not even able to buy clothes there. That is great. Ok I have lots of school work.
Have a good night

PS ok I just remebered that I went to a wedding last year. My brother-in-laws wedding. So it has been a year since I went to a wedding. I love weddings. I would love to be a wedding planner.
ok bye

Sick all day today

I have been sick all day today. This totally sucks. Because I need to be studying and all I want to do is lay down on the bed. Katie and I stayed home all day. DH went to the store for me. Then he went out tonight to a Bachelor party. Insert very annoyed and somewhat pissed off look here. He totally could of stayed home so I could of rested and studied. But no he went out. He wanted me to make the decision and when I did he gave me a major guilt trip MAJOR. So I said whatever you just make the decision and he decided to go. Insert more annoyed looks and shaking of my head. You know, I hate being sick. I just got over the Swine Flu and now this. I can't take any time off of school and I don't seem to be able to get any rest here at home. I am just really tired and sick. I feel like I have no help around here. DH could do a little bit more to help me, I just need more help with things so that I feel better. I don't know. I just have to much to do.
Have to give Katie a bath now
Have a good night

Friday

I got my hair cut today and I like the style. I didn't have school but was busy doing errands. DH is still at work at 8:00pm. I hate when he works late and he has worked late all week. No much else going on. Just doing homework and studying for mid-term. Plus I am doing lots of laundry.
have a good day

Thursday

School was good today. I brought cookies for the bake sale and for my class. Everyone seemed to like the cookies. I am still loving school. Today is like my friday since I have no school tomorrow, but I have a mid-term test on monday so lots of studying with weekend. I have to wear scrubs to school everyday and I have 2 pairs but I plan to buy 2 more pairs next week. I go to Lincoln Tech in NJ. It is a great school for me. I am getting my hair cut tomorrow by JOJO. He really does a good job with my hair but I miss my old stylist from CA Lisa. I wonder how she is doing. My mom is moving my grandma into a nursing home today. It is a good thing because she has Alzheimer's disease. It is sad because I realized recently that she will never be that nana that I used to go to church and out to lunch with. I miss her alot. :( She will be much safer at the nursing home but will probably be very unhappy for a while. I applaud my mom for taking care of her and making she is safe. I went to Avenue today looking for a dress to wear to a wedding next weekend. I didn't find a dress but did find some cute jeans. Since I wear scrubs now I don't have to worry to much about work clothes.
Well I have lots of studying to do
have a good night

Doing Good

It is wednesday and I am doing pretty good. I am going to school to become a Medical Asst. and I am very very busy. But I love it. I really love school. It is hard and there is lots of homework. But I think I am doing pretty good. I realized that I wouldn't be in school if I had not had Weight Loss Surgery. I am so thankful that I had the surgery. It has given me a new/better life. School is so intersting. The other students in my class are so differnet then me but they all seem nice. I am also busy at home with chores, laundry and taking care of Katie. She goes to school full-time now and seems to like it. But I really miss her during the day. She is moving up to preschool 1 at her nursey school. I am so proud of her, she is really growing up. She is doing good with the potty training also.
Well I have lots of homework
Have a good day

Monday

I am almost over the Swine Flu. I am still very very tired. Like super tired but I am not sick anymore. Thank god! I was scared because hey it was the Swine flu but I am feeling lots better.

My mom visited last week. It went ok not great. Not much more to say about that.

Big News: I went to orinetation today for starting school to be a Medical Assistant. I am going to Lincoln Tech starting tomorrow (tuesday). I am doing the Medical Assistant program. I am so excited about this. I think it is a great choice for me.

Feeling a little bit better

I am feeling a little bit better but still very tired and sick. But I also feel like an outcast here at home. I am very worn out. My body just aches. I am glad tomorrow is a holiday and DH gets to stay home. I am just depressed about having the Swine Flu. It just sucks. thats all

School

I have decided to go to Technical School and get a Certified Medical Asstiant certificate. I am very excited about this. I am going to go to Lincoln Tech. It is in Edison, that is about 45 mins away. I have already been there twice now. I was supposed to go this week for the financial aid appt. But with getting the Swine Flu and all I had to cancel my appointment. I will call and reschedule next week. I am already applied for financial aid online and it looks like I am approved for a pell grant. This is good because that is money I don't have to pay back. Now I just have to get a low-interest student loan. DH is excited about me going to school too. He is very supportive. It is a 9 month program and the hours work get for me . Mon-Thurs 8:30-2:30. I will be so happy to have a career.

Swine Flu

This isn't a post about how I am worried about Katie getting Swine flu at school or Why is it called the"Swine Flu". No this post is about the fact the I have the SWINE FLU. Yes you read that right I have the swine flu. I got very sick on Wednesday 9/2. I had a fever of 102.7 and was almost delirious. I was in bed all day. I got up to use the bathroom and that was it. DH had to take Katie to school and come home from work early to pick her up. I was like super sick. Dh got very worried, rightly so, and made a drs appt. for me on Thursday. I was so tired I could barely walk but made it to the drs. When the drs told me I had the swine flu I was shocked. I had him tell my husband because what a surprise it was. So now I am on Tamiflu and have to stay home for days. I am very tired and my body aches, plus I have had a fever off and on for 4 days now. It is scary to be this sick. I have to wear a mask when I go downstairs so that I don't get MIL/FIL sick(we live with them). DH's work told him to stay home on friday which is good because I kept Katie home from school. I hope I start to feel better soon.

Still here

I am still here but am very unhappy to the point of being very depressed. I have lots to write but no energy to write anything. I have not been this depressed before. All I can say is thank god I have my daughter and husband to take care of because that is keeping me alive right now. It sucks to be this unhappy. I have gained some weight but it is because I am doing alot of emotional eating. We have been living with the in-laws for a year now and I am SO TIRED of it but we can not move out because we have no money. My husband is so supportive and really doing his best to help me. It is hard because I am alone alot during the day and have no friends to talk to. I would love to talk to my mom but she is very wrapped up in her self. Speaking of my mom, we had a good visit with her. Central Park Zoo was ok but not alot of animals. We saw hardly any animals it was disappointing. But I did see fashion designer Bestey Johnson. That was cool. We walked around Central Park for a bit. Katie had a great time with her Grandma. Before we went to the zoo we stopped at Magnolia Bakery for our favorite cupcakes and that was fun. Of course my cupcake made me sick but it was worth if and I only had half of a cupcake. It was a pretty good day.
I will write more later

Central Park zoo

We are going to the Central Park Zoo. I am so excited to be going to the city. The Zoo should be fun , I hope so. My mom is here visiting so it will be my mom, Katie, DH and I. I am a little nervous about getting everything ready. I feel a bit stressed right now. I love the city and am so glad to be going there. I haven't been to the zoo in years. Katie is excited about seeing the animals. We are going to also walk around Central Park and maybe go on a carriage ride. We are going to have lunch and dinner in NYC. It is nice having my mom here for a visit. She is here until next friday. Last night we went out to dinner with my in-laws. The food was good and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Have a good day

Thursday

I am watching the Sex in the City movie. I love this movie. My husband surprised me with a Sex in the City Tour in NYC for my last birthday. He is so wonderful and knows what I like. My mom arrives today from CA. She gets in very late. DH will be picking her up at the airport. I hope we have a good visit. She is staying here with us and in-laws. Please wish me luck that everyone gets along. It is very hot and humid here in NJ.
Ok back to the movie.

madmen dh

madmen me

Rain

I went to Morristown and had lunch with DH today. He wasn't feeling so good and wanted me to have lunch with him. When I got there he said I made his day better. That was nice. I ate to much at lunch. We were talking and I just wasn't paying attention to what I was eating. So I got a little sick from eating to much. On my way home driving on 287 I went thru a bad thunderstorm. There was lightning and lots of rain. At one point I could not see the road and lots of cars were stopped on the side of the road. I probably should of done that but I kept on driving just slowly. It was sort of scary. I got home ok. Then I had to go back out to pick up Katie from school. I heard thunder right before I left the house and one second after I got in the car it started to pour. So all in all I was in three thunderstorms today.
I am starting to clean up the house because my mom is coming to visit tomorrow night. We are all looking forward to seeing her. Katie is very excited.
Have a good day

sunday night

We had a good weekend. Katie played in her little pool on saturday and today. We stayed home both days. It is going to be a busy week. I work 2-3 days and my mom gets here for a visit on thursday evening. We are going to the Central Park Zoo on saturday. Hopefully that will be very fun and I can't wait to go to the city. I love it there. I would move there if we could. I highlighted my hair tonight. DH helped me. It looks pretty good.

have a good day

Bored and Lonely

Ok so I am lonely. I am also very bored. I don't have any friends here in NJ, so no one to talk to or to do things with. DH is at work all day and Katie is at school or just wants to play. I realized that I haven't had friends, good friends in a long time. Back in CA I was able to call my mom and do something with her. But not anymore since I live in NJ now. So I am very lonely. I have become very unhappy and feel very defeated lately. I am doing bad with eating, I can't find a full-time job and I miss DH because he is working lots but also working very hard for our family. It is really hard living with the in-laws and all the other crap that is going on. Sometimes it is just to overwhelming. I wish I just had 1 friend to do something with and to talk to. But I don't. I have tryed to explain to DH how I feel but he doesn't seem to understand and is to tired most of the time to talk. So now I am lonely.
have a good day

So Tired.....

I am so tired of hearing about Jon&Kate. I used to really like that show. I was never a Katehater but I do think Jon is a slug. I didn't really care about all the photos and tabloid stories. What bothers me the most is that they are getting a divorce. My parents are divorced and it made a HUGE impact on my life. I just have no respect for Jon&Kate because they are getting divorced.
Ok so that is my 2cents about them.

Oh ya if anyone does read this blog and dosen't agree with what I write or you don't like what I write then you have the option of not reading it. I am not trying to offend anyone I just need place to write how I feel because I have alot going on in my head right now and no one to talk to.
Thanks
have a good day

Weekend

It has been an ok weekend. On friday I went to the doctor and found out I have a bunch of things wrong with me. I now have three drs appts this week. With the main appt being on friday.
I also worked (finally) on saturday night. It was pretty boring. I just folded clothes and tryed to decide what I want to buy for myself this week. I am not sure I like this job but I hope it works out for a while. The big news about my job is that I didn't have any pain at all. This is very exciting for me. I have had some kind of pain either in my legs or feet for about 20 yrs. Nothing hurt at all. My feet used to hurt so bad. But because of the WLS and losing 220 lbs, I have not pain. I was even wareing short heels and it didn't bother me. Before my surgery, I had should bad leg pain that I could not stand for more then 5 mins. REALLY. It was very painfully. The outside of my legs would go numb. Now no pain. This was also the first time I had worked in 2 yrs. It feels weird to be working but good. I work 3 times this coming week. DH took care of Katie and they had a good night.
Today, sunday, we just sort of stayed home. DH and I went to the store to get a paper but that is it. Katie played outside in her swimsuit and DH sprayed her with water from the hose. She had lots of funny and was laughing the whole time. Tomorrow, monday, is the only day that I don't have anything planned.
My mom is coming to visit at the end of the month so DH and I are now starting to plan what things we will be doing with her. Probably go to NYC and maybe Princeton.
Have a good day

Going to the doctor

I have to go to the dr today to follow-up from the emergency room visit on wednesday. I don't really like this dr. but I can't find other one. I always have to wait at least an hour at this doctors office. Katie goes to school today. This is good she always has fun at school. DH worked until 12:30am last night. That is very late for him, but this is his very busy week. He will also be working tomorrow, Saturday. :(

Another day

I have been very tired and exhausted the last few weeks and yesterday it was very bad. So bad in fact that DH had to take me to the emergency room. I had to have 2 IV bags of fluid. Turns out I am dehyrated, have low protein and low sugar levels. My sugar was 68 which is low. Plus I have low calicum and other things going on. I have been so tired lately. But also shaky and feeling bad. So now I have to relax and drink alot more liquid. I am going to start drinking protein shakes so that should help with the protein. We were at the emergency room for 6 hrs. I felt bad that DH had to take time off of work on his most busy week in 3 months but he told me not to worry. Also a good thing was that Katie was in school yesterday. So that is what happened yesterday.
So far this week I have saved $5 with coupons. Not too much but I a really working hard at not spending money.

Stayed home today

We just stayed home today. The day went pretty fast. Usual I feel very anxious if I don't go out of the house, but today I didn't. DH, Katie and I went for a walk. It was fun we walked by 3 rabbits. I made pizza for lunch. It was ok. Maybe a little too much cheese. Now we are waiting for it to get dark so Katie can see some Lighting bugs. It was a good day. I did keep a food list but it is not to good. I will write about it tomorrow. I might be working tomorrow. But I hope not.
Have a good night

Thursday

I have decide to keep a food journal and I am going to write on this blog what I eat everyday. This will be hard but good for me. I am eating way to much and I need to get this eating under control. So starting tomorrow I will be listing what I eat. Also I am going to start keeping a running total of what I save with coupons everyday and thru out the year.
We are very short of money right now so I have decided that we will just stay home this weekend and focus on our family. Also we are not going to watch much tv and no computer. We will eat at home also. I want to make some positive changes for my family. My depression is bad so I am going to work on feeling better.
Today I just did some errands and then came home. I watch a movie on ON DEMAND. It was a funny movie. It was called " I Heart Valentines Day". I am glad I took the time to watch it.
DH is working very late tonight so I am just going to relax on the couch and watch tv now.
Have a good night.

July 1

Hello
Katie went back to school today for summer camp. I think she had a good time but I missed her. I just did a few errands and got a manicure. The polish was too thick and didn't dry well, so I am going back tomorrow to get a polish color change. I am going to grow my hair out I have decided. I had it cut short because of all the hair I lost from the wls but it has grown back so I am going to let it grow. Hopefully I can. I love getting haircuts and I go to a great hair stylist. But I want longer hair so I am going to try. I might be working on saturday, I am on-call 12:30 - 6:30. I sort of don't want to work but sort of do.
I have been really struggling with depression the last few weeks. But in the last few days since sunday it has gotten worse. But I am working hard to feel better.
Have a good day

Monday

So the job turns out to be 1 day a week. It is sort of disappointing but I am happy to be working. I need to be doing something. I just wish it was more days a week. I should be starting sometime next week.
My mom is going to be here for a visit at the end of July. She is going to be here for 7 days. Katie will be so happy to have her TUTU here. We are going to go to the Central Park Zoo. I haven't been to a zoo in like 13 yrs so it will be fun, hopefully. Katie will love seeing the animals and I will love being in the City.
I have been having a lot of pouch pain in the last few days. Lots of burning and pressure. I don't know what is causing it. Hopefully it goes away. DH back has been hurting him alot lately and yesterday he pretty much just slept all day. I was upset because I wanted to do something with him and go out of the house. I probably acted wrong but I was very disappointed. :(
I got some new hangers for my side of the tiny closet in our bedroom. I decided to use those thin felt looking hangers. So I changed all my hangers to those and I had to buy 50 hangers, Yes 50. I still need about 10 more. Before wls I didn't need 50 hangers, now I do. That is great. So now my side of the closet looks very orgainzed.
Not much else going on.
Have a good day.

I got the job!

Well I got a call from the retail store today and I got the job. I am very happy about this and hope it all works well for me. It is only $8 an hour but that is ok. I will be working 1 to 3 shifts a week. This is also ok. I am just so glad to finally have a job. I have been looking for 10months wow. Hopefully I will meet some nice people and enjoy being out of the house. It is part-time so I won't be away from Katie to much. YAH!!! I got a job.

Tuesday

I got a call from the place that I interviewed with for a job and they wanted to hire me but I had to tell them that I could only work untill 8pm. Even 8 is too late but I really need to be working. So she said that she had to talk to her manager and would get back to me. I called again today and still no news yet. I hope I get this job. I would like to work there. But I hope the hours work out for me. I guess I have to wait and see.
I went to the doctor yesterday and I don't have a hernia or bowel problems. This is good news. But after I left the doctors, the car started to have problems again. Katie was with me and we almost didn't make it home. I was scared that we would be stuck somewhere. The car is at the repair shop now, I had it towed from home. Hopefully, it is not to expensive to fix it. I really need to have my car. I had to drive DH to work today and will pick him up tonight just so I can have a car. The bad thing is he works a hour away. So it is a long drive. But at least I have a car to use today. I had lots of errands to do yesterday and was not able to do any of them. I did get them all done this morning. Katie was with me because she is out of school for the month of June. She was really good in all the stores. I am proud of her. I really hope I get this retail job. I think it would be great for me. Plus I get a discount on the clothes and the people that work there seem nice. Maybe I could make some friends. I would like that.
Have a good day

Al the green wagon

I went to a job interview on friday and all of my interview clothes were to big. I wore a dress that was big but worked ok. Then interview went ok. The good part was that Andy was off of work at 1pm that day so he was abel to drive with me to the interview and wait for me. Then we had a slice of pizza and picked up Katie. It was nice having some time with him, alone. Katie was so happy to see daddy when we got to her school. Earlier in the day on friday, I stopped by a garage sale and bought katie a green wagon. Katie and Andy loved it. It was only $8. What a deal. When we got home from picking katie up at school, Andy pulled her around the driveway in it. I named it "AL the green wagon".
Have a good day.

Friday

I have a very busy day today. I got a call last night for an interview at a womens clothing store. I shop at this store but most of the clothes are to big. I would love to work there part-time or full-time if the schedule was good. Plus I would get a discount probably. I also have a haircut appt. and a manicure appt. Then I have to pick up some stuff I have to drink for the MRI I am having on tueday. Lots to do today. But I am happy to be that busy. Katie goes to school today and DH works only till 1pm today and then is going to a baseball game with his dad tonight. They sould have lots of fun. Well I better got going.
Have a good day

katie

I have decided to have Katie take a sort of summer vacation from preschool for the month of june. What prompted this is that she has just been crying and crying every day that I take her to school. She just does not want me to leave her there. Yesterday she didn't even what to get out of the car. On the days she goes to school, 3 days a week, I am very busy. I schedule all my appts and errands on those days. But I think she needs a break. She will go back in July for the summer camp her school is having. Also I think she is not getting enough sleep so it will be a time for her to catch up on sleep. I am also going to try my darnest to have her almost potty trained by the end of July. I am going to try to plan fun stuff for her everyday. With trips to the park and library. We will also go have lunch with DH a few times. I am sure that it will be crazy for me but it will be good also.

This weekend is my BIL 1st anniversary. This time last year I was a size 24 and now I am a size 14. What a difference a year makes. I am having lots a problems but I feel so much better then I did last year. But if you are going to have WLS or have had it Don't eat chocolate it is very painful and can really hurt you as it did me. Also if anyone from California ( SF bay area) is looking for a good WLS doctor. The best one around is Dr. Aaron Baggs at Kaiser Richmond. He was my doctor and I would not have been this successful if it wasn't for him. He is just a great doctor. He really knows what he is doing and understands the needs and problems of people who are obese. Ok he is the best doctor ever.

Have a good day.

Tuesday

I can never think of a good title to my posts. Yesterday I went to the dr and may have another hernia. This is bad news. I have to have cat scan to find out.
I had an ok weekend. We went garage saleing on saturday, but it was mostly junk and I didn't buy much. I decided that I want to go to California for a few weeks this summer. But we don't have the money for that. I am really missing CA right now. Still can't find a job. I received a few "thanks but no thanks" emails last week for the resumes I sent out the week before. It is very depressing trying to find a job. If I had a job we could be saving alot more money and MOVE!
I really hate living here with my in-laws. And I feel stuck here in this cave of an upstairs. DH is used to it because this is his childhood home and he is at work all day. But I am not likeing this at all. It just gets me very down and unhappy.
I have been sick daily because of the wls and I am sick now. I have started to eat to much and I need to get back to basics because I have decided that I want to lose another 50lbs. I am going to try.

Have a good day

Not much going on here

Just another Tuesday or Happy Tuesday as we say in my house. Since I am now trying real hard to not spend, I had to stay home today sort of bored. Katie went to school and I just came home. I did some cleaning around the house but nothing exciting. I would of liked to of gone clothes shopping, but I won't be doing that for awhile. :( oh well it is worth it to be saving for a new home. Yesterday when I went to Shoprite to pick up a prescription I found bottles of Excedrin migraine on sale for $1.79 and then there was a $1.00 off coupon on the bottle. So with the coupon it was .79 what a deal. I went back today and bought 5 more bottles. DH gets bad headaches. I am really trying to use coupons when I go shopping. It is fun to see how much I can save. I love using coupons. I read a lot of frugal blogs and love all of the good ideas they offer.
Here are some of my favorites http://www.moneysavingmom.com/ and http://www.moneysavingmom.com/. Hopefully they don't mind that I mentioned them here if so let me know and I will remove their blog names. But these are the first 2 blogs I look at everyday. I have been wanted to have a small stockpile of the things we use all the time and I am doing good with using coupons for this goal.


Have a good day .

Monday

I had a good mothers day yesterday. It was nice and quiet. We had breakfast at home and lunch at Baja Fresh. It made me sick. Then we had dinner at home. Andy and is dad grilled steaks. The dinner was good but it also made me sick very sick. Andy did great yesterday but he got sick in the evening with stomach problems. Katie got sick on saturday evening and I have her home with me today. She seems to be feeling better but a day home from school is good.
Andys parents hassled us on saturday night about not having a lot of money saved. I am so tired of them and wish we could move NOW. I just need to find a job and then we can get out of here. I am so tired of how mean his mom is to katie. She really acts inmature torward katie and I can't stand it. She is very annoying and insensitve to other people. Katie got her a nana necklace for mothers day and all she said was " oh look it was made in china" Whatever.
Katie got me a MOM necklace and I love it. We are probably staying home today. Even though I would like to go out, I think it would be good for katie to stay home.
I was looking at photos from our wedding 4 1/2 yrs ago and wow I was big. It was weird because I could not even believe that was me. I was huge. I have lost so much weight that I am doing good now. It was hard to look at those photos. That fat girl in me can't believe I am this thin now and the thin girl in me can't believe I was ever that fat. It is hard to deal with.

Have a good day

Sunday

Well, this past week my mom was here to visit Katie. Katie was so happy that her Tutu was here. It was a good visit. It was short tuesday to friday. But we had a good time. Mom made dinner 2 nights. The meals were food that DH loves, so he was happy. On friday we want to some garage sales and I bought a love seat for $20. It is cute and in super great condition. We put it in our bedroom in the tv area. It was such a good deal. I am very happy with it. Mom left to go home on friday and was delayed at the airport for 3 hours on the plane. She was supposed to get to SFO at 8pm and got there at 11:45pm. Wow but at least she got home. DH parents came back from their florida vacation yesterday. It was nice not having them here for a week and it made it possible for mom to visit and stay here with us. She slept in Katies room and Katie slept in our room. But it also made me realize that we need to save for our own home and not be living with the in-laws for much longer. So I am commited now to not spending and save all that I can. We need to buy a home by November to take avantage of the $8000 tax credit. So now I am saving not spending. So wish me luck.

Saturday

We got up early and went to lots of yard sales today. I had so much fun. DH was really good with DD. He even sat in the car with her while I went to some of the sales. We got alot of good stuff. I found about 15 vhs videos for Katie. She is watching one right now. Also some books for her. DH found a nice big picture of the US that is baseball themed. He looks baseball and collects vintage baseball cards, so he can put this in his office someday. I also went to garage sales yesterday too and found some stuff for Katie and DH. I really had a good day today.

I eat to much food

I eat way to much food. I have to eat less and it feels like all I do is eat. I am hungry all the time and I eat because I am bored. My pouch hurts bad and I feel very sick. Also I am not drinking enough and not taking all of my vitamins. So I am doing really bad right now. Also I am eating sweets and to much snacking. I have to get back on track so I don't gain the weight back. I am having a very hard time right now. This sucks!

Michigan

We got back from a weekend in Michigan yesterday. We left on friday and drove 14 hrs, stayed saturday and sunday and then drove back 16yrs yesterday. Needless to say we are all tired. It was an ok trip. I would not want to live in the area of Michigan we visited. But we were there to see DH family and his mother was very happy we were there. I did soso with eating. I had ham for the first time in a Year and it went down ok. I did get very sick at times but I think that was for other reasons. I am really glad to be home.

Still here

I am still here. I am under 200lbs now. I am very happy about this but still having problems with eating. I have been having very bad back and right leg pains. So bad that I have been to the doctor 4 times. I am hoping the pain goes away soon but it makes everything very hard. My knees are hurting now because I have to bend with my knees and actually get on the floor to pick things up. This sucks.
No job yet but I am still looking. DD and I went to California to visit my mom a 2 weeks ago and the visit did not go well. She actually threw a brush at DD, who is only 3 by the way, because DD was crying and didn't want her hair brushed. My mom is very annoying and treats me very bad. She actually thought that DD and I might stay there and not come back home to my husband. How insane is that! I love it here in NJ and there is no way I would move back to CA. My life is so much better here and it was the best decision to move here. We just need our own home and I need a job those are the 2 problems. I am not talking to my mom now because of how bad she treated us. We are not going to visit CA for a long while that is for sure.
DH really missed us when we were gone. But this past weekend was bad and I felt really alone with the way DH was acting. It is hard for me because I don't have any friends so I don't have any one to talk to . Then he acts the way he does and it makes things worst. I don't know what to do sometimes. It is hard not to eat to comfort myself. Really hard.

have a good day

Wednesday

Wow I didn't know it had been a month since I posted anything. I don't think anyone read this blog so sometimes I don't feel like blogging.
I am doing ok. Still no job which sucks but I am looking. DD and I are going to California in 2 weeks to visit family. We are going for 7 days. I have not been away from DH that long in 8 years it is going to be weird. I am still in a stall and I hate it. I have been working hard to eat better and not having much luck. But today was a better day. It was my 1 year surgiversy on Feb 19th. I would have this surgery again for sure. I have lost 144 since surgery and 192 since I started the process in March 2007. I want to lost 30 more lbs. But it is very hard. Nothing much else going on I am bored and food is my enemy but whats new.
have a good day

Thursday

It was sort of a snow day yesterday. K school started late and DH ended up staying home from work because of the weather. Today is sunny but very cold and lots of ice on the roads. K and I are going to stay home today maybe go get some cat food but that is it. Yes I know I have the most exciting life hahaha.
I have gained some weight and it is very upsetting. I have been eating not good for the last few weeks but I am now working hard to lose the weight and eat better. Food just sucks I hate it. It is not enjoyable anymore. Any time I eat something anything I feel bad like I should not be eating. I need to lose 30lbs to get to my goal but I am struggling BAD. I am starting to feel like food is the enemy. Even food that is ok to eat feel like the wrong food to be eating.

Less space

So, when I was bigger I weighted 392 at my highest. I took up a lot of space. I am used to people staying away from me. But now that I am down to 200lbs I take up a lot less space and people are alot closer to me. It is weird. People would go out of the way to avoid being near me because of how big I was. Now, people don't do that. People are closer to me in my personal space and I am uncomfortable with it but I am sure over time I will be ok with it. Also there is less of me and I am working on being happy with that. I don't feel like a success but I have lost 192lbs so I should feel like a success. I am having a hard time now with snacking and grazing. It seems like when ever I am home I am snacking and this is very bad. So I have promised myself that I will stop snacking. It is hard though because I am bored most of the time and it is easy just to grab some crackers. This is emotional eating. But I want to lose 30 more pounds and I have to stop snacking.

Still Here

I am still here, just have felt like I have nothing to say. I am having problems with being very unhappy. I am really tired of living with my in-laws. I really want my own home. But it will be months before we can afford to buy. I appreciate the opportunity they are giving us to save for a down payment but I am home so much that it is very hard for me. Also I can't find a job. I have had some really bad job interviews in the last 2 weeks. One interview turned out to be 3 hours long and was a big waste of time. The last person that interviewed me there, the owner, asked the worst stupidest questions. Another interview told me when I got there after spending the morning getting ready that the person interviewing me didn't show up and would call me back. But never did and when I called to see if the interview would be rescheduled the bitch on the phone hung up on me. Whatever Fantastic Sams in Hillborough you are all a bitches.
So as you can read I am having problems finding a job. Also I am in a stall with my weight and feeling so discouraged. I don't have much support here and that is making a big difference.

But I am going to try to post more often


Shauna